Mid-Pandemic Milestones
When Covid hit, the day they shut everything down, we were supposed to be on a flight to take our daughter on a college tour, but that plan evidently went out of the window, so we resigned ourselves to staying home. I had a deal with myself to get out of the house each day – I’d go on 90 minute or 2 hour walks with the dogs just to get out.
I really can’t say much about my experience in those first few months that is any different from what I am sure you have already heard, and from what everyone experienced themselves. However, in June it was my son’s birthday. We had a party and social distanced, but we forgot one crucial moment- we didn’t think about him blowing out the candles on the cake. Of course, he had COVID at his birthday, and we didn’t know it. That was a Wednesday. He started to feel sick – we didn’t know it was COVID at that point, though. Perhaps just a summertime bug that was going around in his inner circle that had gotten out of hand. My wife went up to Boulder to get him, then my wife tested positive on Sunday, my daughter tested positive on Monday, and I tested positive on Tuesday.
They all had symptoms and felt pretty bad, but I was feeling fine – so I was playing house nurse. My friends referred to me as a “civil war nurse” during this time, and frankly that isn’t all that far from the truth. I would glove up, mask up, and gown up and take everyone food and medicine. Then, as these things always go- they started to feel better when I started feeling worse. I was sick for two weeks. During those first days of Covid, I was concerned – as a father, as a husband. The death toll was rising, and there was no rhyme or reason as to how sick you got or whether you died. You hear about all of these crazy after effects- everything from brain fog to things like teeth falling out. I just remember the fear at that time- for me, for my wife, for our children.
Luckily, I have a friend who is a doctor, and he was giving me advice and recommended a “COVID cocktail” to take- a concoction of a bunch of different medicines. My case wasn’t that bad until about 8-10 days sick. I kept getting worse – I almost had to go to the hospital. I started getting really depressed. I wasn’t really concerned about myself – just the rest of the family. Then my father-in-law, mother-in-law, and father got sick. They were far worse off, and we were especially worried about the loss of my father. Then, miraculously, everyone pulled through. I couldn’t tell you why or how, just that we were lucky, and that we knew the right people with the right recommendations on what to do.
Post-COVID, I was really tired – I had to take a nap to get through the day. It took weeks to get to a point where I could even make it through the day normally. One of the most noticeable changes- and frankly one of the most worrying- was my endurance. The walks used to take – 90 minutes to 2 hours – I now couldn’t even walk 15 minutes. We got sick June 10 – it was probably early August before I felt normal again and could walk.
On top of all of this, my daughter was set to graduate from high school in 2020. They couldn’t have a senior prom of course, which is devastating to any teenager. But some of the parents got together, and we dropped food off at each girls’ house and they had a virtual dinner. It wasn’t great, but it was the best we could do. She talked to her friends for five, maybe six hours, and I just remember thinking that she was robbed. On top of prom, she didn’t get to have a real graduation or a party or to celebrate with friends and family. So, instead, some of the parents had a rolling party – people drove by, handed your graduate an envelope of money, and drove off.
Frankly, I thought the whole idea was kinda tacky. We decided to give people the opportunity to stay, hosting the party in our garage so it was safer, and so that no one felt any pressure to stay. It was a mix - we had a bunch of friends who would only drove by, and others who got out of the car and hung out. Again, it was far from ideal. As a parent, you want to give your kids the world- you want to see them get the American high school experience that everyone dreams about, and she was robbed of that. There’s only so much you can do, though.
In August, we drove her to school. I remember the utter chaos of move-in day- you had a set time to get there, move in and get out. There wasn’t all that much time for tearful goodbyes. We stayed a few days, so that she could meet us off campus for some final family time before she was off to college. That being said- she really struggled. They couldn’t go out of their room, go to parties, meet new people. It was just you and your roomates- and she happened to have a difficult time with the three girls she was rooming with- one left only a few weeks into the semester.
Your freshman year of college should be one of the best years of your life. But Alabama was one of the colleges with the fastest rising COVID case counts in the country. She was trapped with these girls 24/7– you couldn’t go to football games, frat parties, or anything else. Security would knock on doors to enforce the rules- and if there were more than 4 people in the room, they could be sent home. She didn’t really meet anyone – she couldn’t leave her room and was taking classes on line. She was just really depressed and really hated the experience. She’d call home everyday, asking to come home. Now, in her sophomore year, she’s with 3 different and new girls, and is meeting people- and she seems to finally be enjoying college.
We are clawing our way back to normal. Well, maybe there’s a new normal? We took the family to Vegas for my son’s 21st birthday, and are starting to talk about other trips again, and I am jetsetting all over the place for work, which is nice. It’s so wonderful to get out and meet people face to face and not on zoom. I can only hope that the worst is behind us, and that this new normal is kinder to us and our families.
